
The Lab
Haven Duddy
Lead Scientist, Hidden Heart Division
Founder of The Crazy Pattern Lab™
My specialities include:
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feelings (all of them)
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the things people don't say outloud
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emotional recursion
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love as a force of nature
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and human beings as living patterns
I believe feelings are real things. I believe love is a measurable phenomenon. And I believe that when something is real - it matters.
Welcome to the Lab.
If you found this place, you were meant to.
"Your Math" Is Simple
My Math™ is Complex
I get it - it's not for everyone
A Simple Equation to Begin:
5-3=2
Most people stop here. Math feels safe, clean, and contained. But at the Crazy Pattern Lab, we are interested in the emotional layer that sits on top of the math - the layer that complicates everything.
So to demonstrate, we will use a purely fictional, absolutely pretend, completely hypothetical example for education and comedic purposes only.
This did NOT happen. This is NOT autobiographical.
This is a fictional case study. Relax.
THE FICTIONAL STRAWBERRY CASE
"I picked 5 strawberries from my garden, My husband squished three of them."
Mathematically the equation remains:
5-3=2
Emotionally? The equation explodes.
This is where Crazy Pattern research begins.
COMPLICATIONS OF THE EQUATION
To properly examine this fictional scenario, we must investigate several emotional variables:
Variable A - The Origins
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Who grew the strawberries?
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Were they planted with intention?
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Were they special? Seasonal? Symbolic?
Variable B - The Squishing
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Accident or on purpose?
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Careless or meaningful?
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A slip? A stomp? A misunderstanding?
Variable C - The Aftermath
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Was there an apology?
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A shrug?
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A joke?
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A denial?
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A minimization ("They're just strawberries.")?
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A full existential collapse
THE LAB NOTE
We understand the absurdity here. In the real world, most people would never spend time analyzing a strawberry incident.
But at The Crazy Pattern Lab, we believe these tiny, ridiculous, seemingly insignificant dynamics are actually the micro-forces that push the Pattern forward ..... or backward .....or sideways ..... or straight off the table.
These "small" things shape everything.
THE THIRD TRUTH
Most people assume:
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There are two sides to every story.
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Both sides are equally valid.
But emotional intelligence introduces a third truth:
The meaning each person assigned to the moment.
That is where the actual equation lives.
OUR ONGOING STUDY
Here is where things get even more interesting:
Our ongoing study suggests an even crazier realization: once we fully understand the relationship dynamics, we must ask - what is the probability that this event was predictable at all? If I picked five strawberries from my garden, and my fictional husband squashed three.....was this outcome random? Patterned? Statistically inevitable? Or emotionally pre-programmed?
These are the types of questions the Crazy Pattern Lab™ is committed to researching.
And once we understand our rights better - and how the world is going to respond to our simple discovery that feelings do in fact matter - I will hold My Math™ for a little longer. But of course, we plan to share.
Hint 5-3=2. Your Simple Math
We think the equation could start this way
<--- where My Math™ lives
5-3=2
THE REAL QUESTION
This final emotional-intelligence test is not:
How many strawberries are left?
It is:
Can you understand the relationship dynamic behind the squishing?
If you even thought about the deeper meaning?
Welcome to the Lab.
You're one of us.
LAB EXPERIMENTS
Crazy Pattern Lab Disclosure:
In alignment with our commitment to higher standards of relationship excellence, The Crazy Pattern Lab hereby acknowledges that:
1. Feelings matter.
2. Meaning matters.
3. My Math™ matters.
4. Surface Math™ is fine, but let's be serious - it's incomplete.
5. We are doing the best with the tools we invented yesterday.
This concludes the formal portion of the research of the Crazy Pattern Lab.
And if you're actually interested in a deeper, more serious understanding of how the universe works - beyond strawberries, Surface Math™, and emotionally slippery equations - we suggest heading over to The Living Lattice, where things get a little more serious.